One, two, three. One, two, three. Outside in the rain in an empty lot, Tsuzuki kept in time with faint music coming from inside a nearby house. Long lines accentuated sweeping strides. If Tsuzuki weren’t dancing alone, Tatsumi would envy his partner.
“One, two . . . ” Tsuzuki paused as he caught sight of Tatsumi. Long extended legs were now kept modestly under him, open arms and epaulment were now hunched in and long outstretched fingers were now hands front of and close to the body.
“Tatsumi-san. I know. Dancing in public isn’t keeping face. I’m sorry.”
“I was actually marveling at your gracefulness. I never would have guessed. I thought you would be more clumsy with all your small accidents at the office.”
Tsuzuki stepped closer to Tatsumi, raising his eyes to meet Tatsumi’s and raising and opening his arms just shy of meeting Tsuzuki. “Would you like to dance with me? Tatsumi-san?” Tatsumi stared into inviting eyes and raised a hand to meet Tsuzuki’s, the other arm wrapping around Tsuzuki’s shoulders pulling him closer.
In the rain, Tsuzuki’s body was unexpectedly very warm and Tatsumi pulled away. “I am sorry. Such a public display of affection. This isn’t the way I was brought up. This isn’t appropriate.” And with that, Tatsumi hurriedly stepped onto his way home.
Standing still as skies slowly turned from grey to black, watching Tatsumi go quickly away, Tsuzuki then started to feel the cold. How is it that I can be so close. And yet, he’s still not with me?”
The knock on the door was so faint that Tatsumi barely heard it and he wondered if the knocking has been there for a while yet he just never heard it. The door opens and Tsuzuki is there, hair damp and clinging to his face. Tatsumi raised his hand to brush away Tsuzuki’s bangs. Such pretty eyes, Tsuzuki-san. Why do you close them? “This is unexpected. But please, come in. Allow me to try to dry you off and warm you up somewhat.”
With Tsuzuki’s jacket off and with him now sitting in a dining table, Tatsumi was serving dinner. After bringing just a few clumps of rice to his mouth, Tatsumi was already wiping Tsuzuki’s face with a napkin.
“Tatsumi-san? Do I offend you?”
Tatsumi was startled. “No! Not at all. It’s just that I . . . Tsuzuki-san. You often surprise me and I don’t know how to react.”
The rest of the meal was eaten in silence. The awkwardness was unnerving Tsuzuki. This unknowing and discomfort — is this what I do to him?
As Tsuzuki finished his dinner, Tatsumi brought his hand to Tsuzuki’s face one more time — just as a radio from next door was turned on and music serenaded in through the awkwardness. Tsuzuki moved his hand to press Tatsumi’s hand into his face. Tsuzuki felt warmth through the napkin, and cherished. I like this. As much as I dislike your cold shadows’ touch.”
“Tatsumi-san. We’re guarded behind the screens, aren’t we?” Tsuzuki brought his face closer to Tatsumi’s. “I could teach you to lead.” Tsuzuki stood up, pulling Tatsumi with him, bringing Tatsumi into a waltz hold. And instead of controlling the shadows, Tatsumi let the shadows naturally fall around them. Tsuzuki had such a graceful silhouette, it’d be a shame to tamper with it.
“Asato . . . ”
Just then, the radio station was quickly switched to a news broadcast and the volume turned down.
“No need to let go of me . . . Seiicherou.”
Pulling Tsuzuki in even closer, Tatsumi stared into Tsuzuki’s eyes. Finally, Tsuzuki was pulled in close enough for a kiss. With a tight embrace, Tatsumi lifted and carried Tatsumi to bed, finally ending up on top of him.
Tsuzuki looked around, slightly wide-eyed and nervous as if taking in a new situation. Tatsumi gently stroked Tsuzuki’s face,“Shh . . . Do you trust me to know what I am doing?” A nod yes was all the invitation Tatsumi needed.
One hand undid the buttons on Tsuzuki’s shirt, the other hand undid his own. With both shirts off, Tatsumi kissed Tsuzuki — starting with a deep kiss in the mouth, followed by pressing kisses on the neck, and then to nipples. Tatsumi could feel Tsuzuki’s hands hold his shoulders a bit tighter as he started breathing slower and deeper.
His hands undid pants — zippers opened quickly, pants pulled off urgently. Bodies rubbed in an inviting, rising heat.
Lifting up Tsuzuki’s legs, the tingling in Tatsumi’s groins grew more intense in anticipation as he pressed his Tsuzuki’s body, searching for an opening.
“It’s going to hurt!” Tsuzuki cried out. But, with a hush, Tatsumi told him, “I know what to do.” He pressed in, a little bit by a little bit at a time until Tsuzuki’s body spasmed and he moaned, “Oh! Wow . . . ”
Now methodically thrusting — slowly in a little bit, slowly out a little bit — hands stroking Tsuzuki in a matching rhythm, Tatsumi tried to keep his cool. But with Tsuzuki’s slow, deep breathing picking up a little bit of a pace, Tatsumi sighed as his hands stroked Tsuzuki tighter. Feeling Tsuzuki move his body to meet his, Tatsumi felt a pride in himself grow, and Tatsumi could only thrust with more intensity.
No more cautiousness.
Tsuzuki raised his body to meet his — again and again and again. Pleasure tensed through Tatsumi’s body — more and more and more . . . until he felt Tsuzuki’s body — hot and spasming uncontrollably.
Finally seeing Tsuzuki like this — glistening skin, wide and bright eyes — a tension released, giving way to a blinding rush of pleasure and pride over Tatsumi.
After using a nearby shirt to wipe them both down, Tatsumi lay next to Tsuzuki. A calm peace was on Tsuzuki’s face, But then he giggled. “Oh wow. That didn’t hurt like I thought it would.”
“Why did you think it would hurt?”
Tsuzuki snuggled closer to Tatsumi. “I’ve always liked it when you touch me with your hands. I don’t know why I expected it to hurt. It just seemed like it was supposed to without having anything to do with you. I should trust you huh? I wish I didn’t have a partner at work so that you could become mine. And Kyoto’s still a beautiful city even after the war.”
Tatsumi lay there, thinking about willing the shadows to turn off the lights but then thought against it. Looking at Tsuzuki and seeing him smile. He wanted to see that for longer.